Weddings are full of cultural customs all over the World. I think, going to a wedding in another country or culture can be a peak into the values and social structures of those people. I was fortunate to get that peak into the wedding customs of Comalapa this month. In Comalapa, when a couple decides to get married, they search out a married couple to be their padrinos who basically sponsor the wedding financially, as well as serve as the newlyweds marriage counsellors. My host parents, Aura and David, were chosen to be the padrinos through a small ceremony in our home back in October. The wedding was scheduled for May which I thought would be a month that never came, but alas, it did come and has almost gone! I already posted pictures of the wedding, so I guess I will tell you a bit about what actually is going on in those pictures. As well as a little bit extra!
The wedding custom in Comalapa is quite extensive. I only saw it from the padrinos’ perspective, so that is the insight I can offer. The padrinos are in charge of buying the rings and veil. On top of that, they are expected to invite their friends to join in on the festivities. Fortunately, part of the tradition is that the invites stop by beforehand to drop off a financial donation to the padrinos to help out with the cost of food. Because that job is expensive! The Friday before the wedding, Aura was up at 3 am to get everything ready for her friends/guests to arrive starting at 4 am. The most dedicated arrive that early, while others trickle in throughout the morning. The women were put to work in the kitchen, preparing soup, tostadas, atol, tamalitos, etc. And the men were out decorating and arranging the house so that the maximum amount of people will fit inside. At about 5:30 am, I got out of bed and quickly dressed so that when I opened my bedroom door and saw about 20 women sitting there cooking, they wouldn’t see the just woke up version of myself. Especially, since I was lazy and slept in until 5:30!
At 10 am, the family of the groom arrived. I knew they had arrived when I started coughing upstairs from the smell of incense. Catholics, you all really love that incense. From now on whenever I smell it, I will be reminded of Comalapan parties. That, and the scent of pine. Party floors are always covered in fresh pine needles. It smells so good. What once was strictly a Christmas smell is a Guatemala smell for me now. Anyway back to the groom’s family. When I say family, I mean everyone in the family and extended family. It was probably about 40 people. Add that to the 20 or so people that were already at the house. They came carrying a huge basket of food. It was so big we had to basically remove the door to get it through. A lot of praying goes on in front of the make shift altar we made the night before and the basket is brought inside to the women. After we all take turns swinging incense over the basket (more incense! Cough cough), we open it. This basket is filled with bread, plantains, chocolate, soda, 2 chickens, and I don’t even remember what else. Despite giving it out to our guests, much of the food went bad. We are only a family of 6 here and 3 are eight and under. And 1 doesn’t even have teeth yet. So, that was frustrating seeing all the good food go bad. I wish we could have given it out before it went. Anyway, after the basket, we gave everyone tostadas and coffee. When the groom’s family left, we dished out the soup for Aura and David’s party. And then we went and brought bread, plantains, and soup to all of the houses of the invites as their official invitation. And we got rained on.
The next day, Aura was up at 3 again and the bride was there at 6 to get her hair done by Aura. Everyone came back to the house and waited for the family to come again. Once we were all dolled up and the family came, we all went out to pray in front of the altar again. Fire works were lit, the band started, and we marched our way to the municipal building where the couple was married civilly. Meanwhile I had gone to the church to help decorate the pew that the bride, groom, and padrinos were going to sit in. After the civil wedding, the parade marched its way to the church and the mass began. The couple has a baby together, so they took advantage of the day and baptised their son as well. After the wedding, we all went to the groom’s house and sat there for hours. First we were served lunch, some people took naps in their chairs, and several hours later we were served dinner. There was a live Christian band, which meant we weren’t allowed to dance. So we just sat there. Luckily, or unluckily, I had a stomach issue and had to go home for a few hours in between meals. My little sister jumped at the opportunity to leave as well.
By the time Sunday came around, I was glad to wake up to an empty house again.
Going through all of these customs made me realize how important customs are here. The 3am wake up convinced me that Comalapans are much less lazy than I am. The fact that everyone came over to the house to help cook showed me the importance of community here. The way everyone was fed demonstrated the importance of giving. And the lack of dancing at the reception made me thankful that I don’t believe dancing to be sinful and the path to hell. Most of all, I hope that no one falls asleep at my wedding!
In other news:
- I am on a CEFORMA teacher’s basket ball team! I am really no good. The teachers signed me up expecting me to be good because I am tall. That’ll teach them to judge a book by its cover. Our practices are at 5 am (why so early!) and our games are about every other Thursday. We play other women’s teams from town and just outside of it. I have learned that the teams from the rural areas are super tough. So far, we have lost every game. But I made a basket at our last one! Woohoo!
- The day after the wedding was MOTHER’S DAY. And that day is celebrated extra strong here! The school had an activity for the mothers which involved games, songs, performances, etc. It also involved me wearing my traje or traditional Mayan outfit for the first time! I bought the top from a friend who wove it herself and the skirt from another friend who bought it two years ago and never wore it. Aura made a belt and gave it to me. Look at the picture down below! It is absolutely gorgeous but dyed my legs a sickly looking blue.
- I went on a trip with the other volunteers to Semuc Champey last weekend and it was amazing! I swam through a cave with only a candle to light my path. Luckily we had a guide with a flashlight on his head. But it was quite the adventure. A major thrill. We also jumped off swings into the river and tubed down it as well. There the river cuts through a valley and splits off partly underground and partly over. The parts that are over form these little blue pools of water on limestone. They are great to swim in and absolutely gorgeous!
- I only have 5 weeks left in Guatemala and even less time in Comalapa. My departure date is June 28th, but I leave Comalapa on the 25th. So my time here is really winding down. I can't decide how I fee about leaving because it changes moment to moment. I have a lot to do still, but haven’t really felt like doing much of anything. Hopefully this will pass because I have a whole to do list! Though what I really want to focus on in my last few weeks is spending time with my host family and friends. Though part of me is ready to go, the idea of leaving the people here that I’ve grown close to breaks my heart. And I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for the goodbye.
- I want to thank everyone who has been following my blog this year for your interest! I’m sure I’ll write a few more entries in the next month before I leave. Also, any of you who have donated to my year here I send a HUMUNGOUS thank you!!! I could never have done this without you. I have almost reached my goal of $10,000 and think that I will be able to get there by the end of the summer.
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